This’ll be the first of two posts that I’ll be posting tonight.
Here’s a quick history lesson on my history with SOME video games.
My first true experience, outside of playing on the computer with an interactive Toy Story game that sucked ass, was with a portable system. The Sega Game Gear. I was super young at the time. About 4 years old when my sister was living with me and my parents. So it was about 3 years after its initial release. My sister was probably in middle or high school at the time. She had gotten a Game Gear from her friend and it was new. It was still unopened and she really didn’t care for portables, so she gave it to me. And the real kicker here is that I didn’t even open it until I had to take a shit. So the first genuine experience with games was on the shitter. It was essentially one of the early “Angry Birds” situations where someone gamed on the shitter for roughly 4 fucking hours. Least to my experience. The game I played however was total garbage for me because I couldn’t see anything on the screen.
After that, my experience went uphill with more games, since I was never one to be let down by one bad experience in terms of dem video games, and decided to get myself an NES with the money my parents gave me for Christmas. Supervised of course since they didn’t want me blowing it all on something like crack, cocaine, and cocaine accessories.
I got the power set NES pack at a retail place. Unfortunately there was one person who tried to sell my dad some crack, and he ended up running the guys foot over. Not that he wanted to. But some crackheads just don’t know that feet aren’t meant to be placed underneath car wheels. I enjoyed Mario Bros, but unfortunately, they had to ban me from playing Duck Hunt because I threw my controller at our dog in a fit of rage. To this day, I still love killing that Duck Hunt demon dog who laughs at you on Newgrounds.
When the time came around on my sixth birthday, my parents finally got me a SNES, along with Super Mario World, which is still one of the most spectacular Mario games in my life, along with a few other games, which were Legend of Zelda 1 & 2 for my NES, Legend of Zelda LTTP, Super Metroid and the original for the NES, and Super Castelvania 4 for the SNES. The other Castlevania games avaliable at the time were donated by my older neighbor who had more than one copy along with every available Donkey Kong game. Ever since then, I had become so hooked onto video games that I was considered the Nerd king, sometimes the Geek king, of the entire block. People would shower me with NES controllers and throw banquets in my honor. Well, mostly just neighborhood parties where we would partake in Hawaiian Punch and snacks. But at the time, when you’re that young and sitting in the biggest easy chair on someone elses lawn, you really felt that grand and in charge at the time. As a side note, I also was subscribed to Nintendo Power. But I doubt anyone cares to hear about that instead of the actual video games. Oh what? You did wanna hear about it? Okay!
Long story short, aside from the usual need for a walkthrough, the only thing I cared for about those were the freakish and maniacal pictures in the book, such as one of some woman holding what’s supposed to be meat loaf or something but it looked more like a log of fecal matter.
The worlds most popular gateway drug into a world of Fuckness.
After all that jazz and pizazz of being the neighborhoods local gamer king, I moved out of the house with my mom, after some stupid divorce that had literally no impact on me as a person, and found my way in the gaming world to what can only be described as the most awesome times to be a kid. The time that I had not only an N64 along with Donkey Kong 64, Smash Bros, Mario 64, Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time & Majora’s Mask, and Hey You Pikachu, but also having a PS1 and Castlevania Symphony of The Night. I also had a few minor games like DBZ UB22 and Digimon World 2 and 3. This was one of the happiest times of my life in terms of gaming experience.
After that, I took more liberty with my gaming experience as I grew older over the years and upgraded to the PS2. From that moment on, I met one of the greatest heroes of my life. A hero who’s all about crazy parties and riding atop incoming missile fire. It was my first TRUE experience with an M rated game.
Behold. The greatest person to ever walk the earth of men and women. Let alone any place. Making all the girls panties wet, and all the mens Wangs hard from sheer badassery mixed in with glamorous cheesy humor up the ass.
I played so much DMC1 that I actually had my friend build me my own Dante costume when I was eleven. Course I didn’t count this as cosplay since I never got to go to any convention and show it off. But whatever. But my mom told me never to wear it because I looked like some vampire nutjob to her. Didn’t listen. And then she said I was being rebellious. Damn straight. I was rebellious up the ass. I had some CRAZY parties in that thing with friends! I even had my own Force Edge made from scratch by a friend. I almost poked my neighbors eye out with it. Thankfully he didn’t report me to my mom.
After that, I played nothing but DMC 1 2 and 3 aside from the other games I had which were the DBZ games, KH 1 and 2, and also Star Wars Bounty Hunter. My love for DMC though went up the roof as I continuously bought more games from it. Namely the special edition.
Eventually, I got to the PS3 and Xbox360. PS3 for me, was my gateway to the first time I ever experienced a NISA game. And that was with Disgaea 3 Absence of Justice. I played that day in and day out just to beat it. Ever since then, my second favorite series of games, aside from Legend of Zelda’s spot in second, was the Disgaea series. I eventually got 1 and 2 from a friend for free. And those were awesome as well. For me however, the games I most enjoyed, was not only DMC4, but also my first memorable experience with GTA. GTAIV was my first time truly having my own GTA game. I used to only play them at friends. But this time, I had full access to the stress reducing factor of the GTA series. I ran over so many cops in that game that I would probably have been sent straight to death if they ever caught and arrested me. So dangerous and wild that the moment I enter a prison, they just drop me to my knees and shoot me. But god. I had so much stress from my mom that time that I was in lala land playing the shit out of GTAIV. For the 360, the only game I really had on there was Saints Row 2 & 3 alongside Sonic 06. At least that I can remember for now.
Ever since then, it’s been smooth sailing for me and games. Aside from the games mentioned, I also had plenty of other games. Just that I can’t remember them all or care to type that huge a post.
But eventually I came across Neptunia with a friend of mine. I wasn’t going to buy it since I had no money. But my friend did. So he bought it and we played it a bit. It was okay for me. The only thing I liked were really the jokes. I didn’t even get to really finish it though. But eventually I had come across Victory and MK2 as time went on. While my first true experience wasn’t all that grand, it was much better than I expected. MK2 came later. But for Victory, it was plenty fun. Although I did have a few gripes with it due to some implications, but it was all fun though in the end.
Plutia: You know, the fact that you didn’t even trrryyyy to get better shares really sucks, ya know?
Me: You don’t say? And what do I get in return for doing all these things?
Vert: A few healing items and a few weapons you probably wouldn’t care to use.
Me: Oh, so I don’t get to cop some feels, Vert? Well. Fuck me… You better at least feel grateful that I still put faith in you.
Now comes to the present day. Now I have a Vita and Re;Birth. And I plan to get more. And to this day, I play about 30% of my portables on the can. I’m a member of Angry Birds Anonymous. Please help me.
But in all seriousness, there are so many games that I have played, that I probably couldn’t even list them all without spending an entire day remembering them and taking notes.