River Kanoff

The best voice for Shadow The Hedgehog and any other badass around. I’d imagine my dream voice to be like his. If you don’t agree then you can suck a can of thick meaty horse cocks.

Now fuck off. There’s too many damn animals in this blog.


Only one fucking post today…

Cause I’m tired as balls.

Today I’m only posting one fucking thing today motherfuckers. And that’s a video.

You guys like Mutahar? You guys like Haunted Gaming? Are you guys Someordinarygamers? Then you’ll love this. So much you’ll die from it.

Yuri, Yaoi, and dem goddamn Heteros

This is my gripe with all three of the most used orientations in anime and manga. And even some hentai.

First off let’s get into the one I have the most issues with.

Yuri: First off, this genre ain’t bad. A lot of the ones I see have some average plots. And by average I mean okay enough to keep me interested and watch it more than once. It’s the fucking lil bitch fans I have a problem with. Almost every fan I talk to always can’t stop talking about it and the moment I bring up anything that has a male character (Especially a main character) they go all man hater and rant about shit like how impure all men are and how “DICK+BALLS=SATAN!!!” and how “DA VAJAJAY IS GOD/GODDESS!!!”. The problem with me is they try and BS me like they’re decent and pleasant people to be around and then they choose to slander me based on gender by stating things like “The balls are the source of all evil and anything with testicles should die”. And even on forums it’s a fucking disaster. Just about every forum I got that has a Yuri fan posting to it shows how creepy they can be. They always make Yuri related posts and never make simple posts that don’t have some kind of implication to it.

Let’s say I got to a forum. Let’s say it’s got a poll on what gender you would like an OC to be in a fanfic and where “IT” should come from. Let’s say there’s a fair amount of people saying male and female. Then when the results come in it’s chosen as female. All fine and good and more power to them. Then a user posts a pic of a character from said series that the fic is based on. This pic has her looking pissed. Probably because she couldn’t win and have her place of origin chosen. But along comes the typical Yuri fanatic I usually meet or even a lighter version of it, who comes and says something like the character is pissed because some other character (Who comes from the chosen nation) is being stolen from her. AND YET BOTH THOSE CHARACTERS HATE EACH OTHERS GUTS. And not in friendly way. A funny way, yes. But not friendly. Some Yuri fans make sense. But the ones I talk to most of the time don’t.

And lastly, these fans (Along with the Yaoi bitches I’ve talked to) always say that the main problem they have with generic anime today like ecchi, harems, and other things like that are all boring now and they’ve seen it all. This would be fine if not for two problems: They all say that Yuri/Yaoi is never boring and can never be seen enough no matter what. And secondly that anything with a male who isn’t totally evil or being treated like dog shit with an actual romantic interest that’s female (Harem or not, and ecchi or not) always is something they’ve seen before. Even if the man is a guy who spends half the series shitting rainbows and doing drugs. If male oriented series can get tired from seeing enough of em then EVERYTHING. IS. THE. FUCKING. SAME. Yuri is gonna get tiring. And why? Because you don’t respect it enough. If you don’t want it to get tiring and to love it forever then watch it sparingly. Cover up your desire for anime and manga with other things. If Yuri is your favorite, then save it as a special treat. Watch Yaoi and just about everything else. When you finally start to watch Yuri again then it becomes an even more amazing feeling. Like spending some time away from your lover that you love so much and then coming back together (Without dating anyone else of course). This is the approach I take to my favorite genre and series. Mecha and Dragon Ball Z. I don’t watch them all the time now. But they are my favorite. And I love em even more when I finally get that dose. Like I just took an LSD shot of pure rainbow and sunshine.

As far as the genre goes I’ve seen a few. I’ll list them later in a list. Now fuck off and read the other two in this fucking list.

Now let’s get into the thing I have the least amount of trouble with. Yaoi.

I don’t hate this genre either. And I hate most of the fans I meet. But I just happen to know a shit ton more Yuri fanatics than I do Yaoi fanatics. Although they’re just as bad in their own fucking ways. The female ones I know like it because they’re attracted to men. Fine and dandy. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT!!! Lil bitches… I get you think it’s hot. That doesn’t change the fact that that’s the ONLY fucking reason you like it and I don’t need to know that cause I’m never going to, nor should I, like it for the same reason. Now for the male fans I know (Mostly the gay male fans), it’s the same shit with the Yuri fans. Except that the Yuri fans I know who have that hatred of the peepee attitude are equally distributed amongst idiotic women whether they be fucking lesbos or not and whether they be retarded men (Whether they be gender confused or not or raised by lesbians who make him whip himself for being male *cough*. TJ *cough*.)

As for the genre I’ve only seen a few and didn’t find any that I hated. I’ll list the ones I’ve seen later. So halt your fucking horses and wait for it. Bitches.

Now for the final thing that really grinds my fucking balls. Fans who are fans of shit like Ecchi, Harem, and whatnot. My main issue is that these fucking bitches (Mostly male fans) that I happen to know or talk to ALWAYS watch this shit for one reason. TO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF THEIR GODDMAN MEAT TO IT. It’s all they want to see in a fucking anime. The reason they hate Dragon Ball Z? No moe, ecchi, or harems involved in it (Unless you count that whore Erasa as a second love interest for Gohan but that was short lived). Not too many people who’re straight can beat their dicks to goku’s meat grinding abs or his awesome hair. They male hit puberty when watching it. But they still hate it and call it stupid because it doesn’t have all the fuckign clevage shots and panty shots of things like High School Dxd (Funny. But not what I would call as good a story as Dragon Ball Z. Which isn’t saying much considering Z has a simple plot) or the kinds of shows like Ikki Tousen or Senran Kagura (Game first. Show second).

The next time I see someone hate on Dragon Ball Z (Or any equally awesome show) and yet have a Myanimelist list filled with harems, ecchi, and hentai cluttering it, I’m gonna dress up as Batman and go out into public and buy every copy of any harem, ecchi, or hentai from any source (Whether I get credit card debt or not) and take a bat and shatter them into pieces in public. Then I’ll shave my balls in public and drop all the pubic hair onto it. Then burn it. Then put it out with my own piss.

Now I know that’s a pretty epically axe crazy thing to do. But I hate those fans enough to do that. I would pretty much do the same to any Yuri fan as punishment. But I don’t here as many of them hate on my favorite series just because it isn’t Yuri. They probably hate it for that reason. But I don’t HEAR them say it. And I have more issue with them because of more reasons for me to dislike the,. I pretty much only have one reason to hate the people who are harem, ecchi, and hentai nutjobs. AND IT’S A PRETTY SERIOUS REASON IN MY FUCKING BOOK.

But if there’s one thing I hate that all three sets of fans do that I can’t stand is the way they ask for more of what they love. They always have to bash something else when stating how little there is of what they love and how they want more. To me all I see is a bunch of dumbass cunt licking, coochie sucking, cunt fucking, cock sucking, cock fighting whores (Man or woman). All the time, all I can see is their moronic faces.


Now that that’s done, let’s all calm the fuck down and take a break from bitching like bitches and following the way of the douche. Cause remember people. The whole purpose of this blog is to enlighten each other on the ways of the douche. If all those fans I talked to stopped acting like a bunch of self entitled pricks and bashed all that stuff with only having the intention of being rude and mean to others, then I’d have no probelm. They’d be a part of my fucking club with that. Cause they do a fantastic job at being a bunch of pissy wissy bastards and bitches.

Now. Let’s watch something we all moronically love and pander to no matter what. Even me. Unless you’re a sterotypical butch Lesbo. Then fuck off and don’t watch the video. But if you’re a real life Butch then be my guest. Join the pandering club. We’re all a part of it.

Lessons on legenduh

I’m stronger than an ant. And an ant is stronger than you. So I’m stronger than all of you.

How you may ask. Because I’ m a douche. In life only the douche of all douches is legenduh.

How to be a douche: Three easy steps out of many.

#1: Always make sure you never flush in public restrooms.

#2: Slip your pubic hairs in your friends sandwich.

#3: Poop on the floor and blame it on the dog.

Follow those easy steps and you’ll be on your way to mastering the art of douchery. You’ll be legen-Wait for it-Duh.

Lessons bitches

Lesson number 1: If you’re a bitch and you purposely talk on the phone 24/7 to fuck up your neighbors downloads, then please do us a favor and kill yourself. Or better yet, live in the woods. Society doesn’t need or want your kind.

Lesson number 2: Don’t buy the fucking Iphones. Don’t even buy an Android. Go the old fashioned way and use an old satellite phone. Tell society to fuck off like a douche and say “I’m old school. WHO GIVES A SHIT!?”

Lesson number 3: Pokemon is the ultimate creepypasta source on the internet.

Now fuck off and make these sounds. You know what I mean. The worlds natural anti-depressant for lonely men. I don’t know what it would sound like for the other “side”.

Final lesson for the night bitch

The final lesson before I go to bed and get some fucking rest.

If you’re into religion then be tolerate of other people’s beliefs. Stop being a douche. Leave that to the pros and stop trying to use a douches weapon against them. That reverse pshycology BS don’t work IRL or real time.

If you’re an Atheist, then stop being a lil bitch and thinking you can’t be wrong. Yes. I’m speaking to you TJ. Stop being a hypocrite. Just admit you like being a douche. Join my fucking club motherfucker!!! You’ll be pretty damn fucking free after that. You need to stop being a hypocritical lil bitch and just be a lil bitch to be a lil bitch.

Now. For the most monumental and relevant yet irrelevant thing ever. Watch it. Then fuck off for the night. And remember. The way of the douche will set you free.

Why’s life a bitch?

Because were’ a bunch of whiny little bitches.

Why? Because we can. We bitch because we secretly find it fun. Just don’t make some dumb ass excuse like you’ve got blue balls or a period. I had a broken leg once and I was the most pleasant person to be around in the state of Texas. At least until I healed. Then I bitched like a bitch. Cause I’m a bitch.

Now on a more serious note and more sincere note, we all control ourselves. We control our bodies. Not the opposite. It’s our decisions to succumb to issues and be rude and mean and foul to others. On the net it’s fine to a degree. But actually make an effort to to be polite and pleasant IRL.

Now shut up and play with yourself. It’s the world natural anti-depressant for lonely men. Just don’t do it 42 times in a row like those dumbass new generation Brazilian kids.

I’m here. And I’m hip for being square.┏((= ̄(エ) ̄=))┛

I’m the new guy in town. And I’m an amnesiac. I don’t know anything past my name. But I plan to take you all on a trip through hell and back.

Read this work in progress to read up about my life before joining WordPress from the fictional world: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10500542/1/Dragons-Forgotten

Now fuck off so I can play with myself and get drunk. Don’t hate.

┏((= ̄(エ) ̄=))┛