Tag Archives: Yaoi

Yuri: When was it ever “good”?

 

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So… I saw a post trying to compare that new Steam release for the Hanabira series… To Metal Gear. Says it’s the Metal Gear Solid of Yuri. And it got me thinking about something. When was Yuri ever good? First I’ll show you what I wanted to post on the Steam review. Then I’ll go into more detail about the Genre.

1: This game series is by far not such a thing. It has like zero interaction, About as much interaction as a Metal Gear Solid game where you just push a stick forward and click one button and Snake is just running on his own and no scoping everything as if he had a bot running his aiming. They lack a bad end for not making the main expected choices, and there are no penises to qualify an asinine name like Solid Snake to be anything like Metal Gear. Unless it’s got a hunk of a dude rescuing the president or some shit, it’s a shit statement to call this the Metal Gear of anything.

2: Metal Gear is pure quality. This series is known for glorifying lesbians raping lesbians (Female double standards), lesbians peeing on lesbians, and lesbians being extremely neurotic and impossible to understand. Sometimes I can barely call these girls “lesbians” since I feel they would have been just as satisfied if they were getting cocked by a 7 inch Otacon. Seriously. They always seem to be wet and ready for sex even when no one is around. They fuck everywhere and anywhere in their series. And if a woman is that wet all the time, it tends to actually physically feel good. And they never seem to outright state a hatred for males. Just that one of them has a hatred for cheating at times to the point she’ll kill her lover and then herself. So this game is hardly known for quality. More so mediocrity.

3: Nanomachines, Son.

Secondly, please stop trying to pedestal Yuri. I get it. You lonely blue pillers are so blue pilled up that you, as the male demographic of these games, think a lack of males is some kind of saving grace. I get that you think that misandry is a good thing. That you think that male’s are inherently muhsogynistic. That you think that no pure woman would want a penis. That you think that girls and only girls are a good thing and better than diversity (The actual spice of life). That you think that if you want to gain the affections of a woman, then it can only be from either becoming a girl, or being so effeminate that you might as well be gay.

But to compare this to Metal Gear is like trying to compare American Psycho to The Room by Tommy Wiseau. Both have a sort of cult following (While in Metal Gear’s case bigger than a cult). But only one has that following and is actually any good based on written quality and intellectual prowess on the writers part.

Got it? Only White Knights and beta male mangina’s like this series past wanting to fuck all the chicks themselves. Because you can’t like a quality that doesn’t exist.

That’s what I would have said if the character limit on Steam comments wasn’t 1,000 characters or less. But man. How fucking full of the Yuri fever do you have to be to think that Yuri has ever been comparable to a long running series of the quality of Metal Gear? Not only does Metal Gear update on a time schedule that allows for proper time to make a great story, it uses resources well.

And Yuri fans from what I see are mostly weeaboo meme shitting freaks anways.

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Yuri is more like that one neurotic mom who’s every now and then tolerable. And other times she seems like she’s trying to be tolerable, but only being a chaotic mess of contradictory to one another attempts at being tolerable.

Yuri hasn’t had the best track record. Either slice of life pizza slices that give Weeaboo’s diabete’s and take no intellectual capability to make past knowing some inside jokes and having a decent artist that can entice weeaboo lolicons, or it’s an attempt at an intellectual story that only goes full potato with it’s overly cringe worthy character motivations, plot twists, and character interactions.

Take Kannazuki No Miko for example. Awesome mecha but tossed into a horrible overly greasy mess of a story. It was so balls deep in shit that the Youtube channel Anime Balls Deep would have a fucking field day with that.

The blue haired main girl, Chikane, is like a paragon for Feminazi’s on “strong independent womyn” and yet she lives off of her families money, is some Mary Sue who’s loved by all and yet has some shitty woobie story thrown in, and she’s good at so many things, but can’t for the life of her be any good at knowing how to not be a man hating shit. If Souma wasn’t a man, she’d probably have no problems letting Himeko get saved by her. Since she represents a fanbase that thinks that “if you spend so much time around a real man you’re bound to wanna fuck em” or some shit. They can’t fathom the idea that a lesbian isn’t some purest form of love that can stand the test of time, but think that if you put a man in a main role that doesn’t lead to him getting shafted in terms of how he ends up then it’ll make the series go full harem or some shit.

Himeko is some indecisive emotion and morality sue who can’t decide to do shit, can’t seem to do shit on her own, like when Murakumo just decides to shit itself out to do the job it’s supposed to do, and she can’t seem to just nut up and tell Souma that “sorry. You’re princess is in another series where you’re appreciated and the story is better and we abducted you just to shit all over you”.

Souma is like that one guy who’s a mix of an alpha male and White Knight beta who does good things and is only a beta because he’s being spoonfed shitty ideologies, but will eventually just stop giving a shit about romance and tell the world to fuck itself. Like going #MGTOW or something.

Kannazuki No Miko is like that one Yuri that tries to be super edgy but fails at being really edgy and just goes full cringe edge on you. The girls are hot enough to want to fuck, but the story is so cringe worthy that you can’t see any other reason to watch it othet than to say “Damn I wish I could have sex with Chikane and Himeko” or to say “I wish I could pilot a mecha like Souma and ride a bike like him”.

And the sad thing is that no matter what someone tells you, Yuri is far from being that “underrated genre that not enough people care about”.

From my experience it works like this.

Yuri Vs Yaoi: Mainstream wise Yuri has the most backing and audience. The doujin’s have the most Yaoi which involve not only fanfic level self made manga’s that are basically free advertising with the right credits, but also indie works that don’t go mainstream. Yuri has an easier time going mainstream. Especially subtext shows with little to no presence from males.

Yuri Vs Hetero: Hetero has the edge here. But not enough to where you can say people prefer it by a norm. Most anime fans I’ve seen watch it because it’s the biggest in terms of content. Not because of a preference. Especially in this day and age of PC bullshit. They watch it for the girls. Anyone telling you they watch it because it has enticing romance is probably lying on most occasions. Now I will say that the het stuff has had less cringe worthy stories. Just not very developed at times. But not as cringe worthy. But most fans watch it to fap to the girls and ship them with other girls. Only the vanilla fags of the doujin communities ship the MC like hotcakes. Most forum goers and most people I’ve met say they prefer Yuri since they think it means you’re a faggot to like to see hetero sex. Even if it’s for logical reasons like “envy” and a desire to be the man in the sheets with the girl.

This is pretty much why Yuri has such a horrible track record to me. Because it lacks any intellectually knowledgeable writers, and it has at times, the cringe factor of your average fanfic.

Now for all the anally injured PC Yuritards who think that by not worshiping the vagoo of the great and mighty poo that is Yuri, then here. I have a gift for you.

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A sad fact of life.

Most Yuri fans are Yurifags.

Most Yaoi fans are Yaoifags.

Most het fans are hetfags.

Sad isn’t it? Sad that these people exist and refuse all games, anime, and manga just because males/females/or non harems exist and are shown, reminding them that they exist. If you want to say that males don’t belong or deserve to live, go fuck yourself. Better yet, go find a taser and put it to your ballsack or cooch and tase yourself. Pain is the only shit you deserve.

If you hate female presence in the same fashion as a disgusting Satan spawned Yurifag hates males for “being” things they’re not, then do the same.

And if you can’t stand not having a god damn harem story to self insert into so you can masturbate to, then you need to just get your sorry ass laid. Go find a hooker who offers her medical history.

Now all of you kindly fuck off, and get out of your fantasy world. The majority of women are not evil. The majority of non harem ecchi shows are not shit. And the majority of males are not evil pigs who can’t please women, because you think everyone’s gay. If you want to think that way then I’ll just be a bigot myself (A real one and not some joke bigot).

You women, men, and getfags are the spawn of Satan. Yuri, Yaoi, and Hetero are all filthy Satan spawned shit. How many times have I been told that Absolute Obedience is a masterpiece of intellectual property? More than I need to be told and lied to. How many people tell me Dragon Ball Z is shit because it lacks the moe harem-ness of the ecchi genre? More times than I can count. And more broken noses than you can count. And how many people told me that Sono Hanabira is the prime example of why Yuri is beyond even god and is the purest form of love on the planet without any disgusting abnormalities like “penises” (When penises are just as much abnormalities as vaginas), or not involving any disgusting depictions of bodily fluids? More times than anyone can count.

Sono Hanabira is not pure. It’s full of piss drinking and rape scenes. Except a few exceptions. But that doesn’t decide the series as a whole.

Absolute Obedience is not the intellectual property you people claim it as. It’s not even on the intellectual ability of Dragon Ball Z. And despite my love for DBZ, that’s sad.

A list of (Some) of my most hated words or phrases #1

STFU and read it all. Or you’re a fucking illiterate douchebag. Which only half of that equation is a good thing.

G-Spot: The fuck is up with this G-Spot bullshit and gynecology? Women have a G-Spot? Does this mean I have a G-Spot somewhere on my dick when I beat it? I doubt it. Unless every spot is the G-Spot and I just happen to have a G-Spot everywhere on my fucking dick whenever I feel like jerking it.


 

Check Your Privilege: I already made a post on this a short time ago… But seriously. You think WHITE people need to check their privilege? EVERYONE IS PRIVILEGED JUST TO BE ALIVE. So check it. And don’t bitch it.


 

Het Is Ew: Seriously. I understand that hetero relationships can get boring for shippers after the god damn huge abundance of works that have those. But “ew”? Of all stances to take on it, you decide to be a closed minded biggot who hates anything, everything, anyone, and everyone heterosexual in fiction? Spare me the hypocrisy and the asinine sinful flaw of your bullshit dick slapping and cunt licking views. At least don’t make an excuse for it. Just admit you hate it because you’re a jerk and not because “OH I DON SEEN IT ALL AND NOTHIN ELSE IN DA GENRE IS GONNA BE DIFFERENT OR GOOD!!!”. We’re all jerks around here.


 

You just jelly: The fuck? You couldn’t come up with a less immature, pre pubescent, kindergarten way to say “You’re just jealous”? The internet is filled with noobs to a T. Like literally. Fucking literal noobs who haven’t been able to mentally age past the age of 7 where a kid would have to sneak outside just to say Hell in a prayer like “Dear God. Please don’t send me to Hell with Satan” just because his stereotypical old white ass, tight ass Republican parents think a kid dies and goes to hell whenever they say hell.


 

Scans or it didn’t happen: While I agree mostly with this, I FUCKING WANNA PUNT A SATANIC BABY IN THE BALL SACK every time I fucking hear them use that excuse on sites like Moviecodec when they don’t even try to back up their OWN statements. They just jump right to SCAN OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. Little putrid, fucking self entitled, chocolate milk indulging shits. At least TRY to make me believe you when you say shit like “Pre Genin Sasuke would rape the shit out of Goku”.


 

Shipping wars: Most putrid war ever right alongside the ever hated console wars. Fucking leave other peoples shipping rights to themselves. They have the same level of right to ship Naruto with Hinata as much as you have the right to take a shit every morning. Or in other words as much right as you have to ship Naruto with Sasuke or Sakura. Hell, even when the ship makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, like shipping a yuri character with a hetero character (Or basically the same as shipping her with an ordinary house pet), it’s still within their rights. Your rights do not entail the right or ability to enforce YOUR laws (Not the worlds laws) onto them. If you think otherwise then you must either be or think you’re Jesus-Fucking-Christ. Even taking a Yaoi character and a female, and shipping the shit out of that fucked up ship is still within their own free will and rights. So to all you shippers out there who treat it as more than a game and as something to be treated like a serious political debate, all I can say is a quote from Shakespeare.

“A plague upon your epileptic visage!
Smile you my speeches, as I were a fool?
Goose, if I had you upon Sarum plain,
I’ld drive ye cackling home to Camelot.”

Essentially it’s titled as “Fuck you retard. Let’s fight.”


 

U mad bro: Yes. I’m fucking mad. Why the fuck you gotta ask such a rhetorical question? I’m mad enough to strap your newborn baby to a chair and make him watch you piss blood as I pound the ever lasting piss water out of your nutsack with a sledge hammer. Well maybe not that mad. Or am I? But either way, shut the fuck up. You’re mad enough to use that term so I’m mad enough to wanna ruin any future children you might make. Possibly…


 

International Castration Day: Seriously. The day when I believe that the femitheist is right for trying to dwindle down all but a select few men for servant status, is the day that woman don’t bitch at eachother and other people when they’re on their period. Not gonna happen. Reducing population ain’t solving shit. Stopping population growth is. Just stop fucking so much and opening your god damn vags and it’ll be fine. And stop letting your dicks hang out of your somewhat baggy pants.


Yuri: The concept is great and all. But the fucking term nowadays just means rabid lesbotard to me now. So many Yuri fans I know are absolutley obsessed with it that they let shit like gender determine whether or not a series is good. How the fuck does whether or not Goku is a girl or a man determine whether or not the series is good or not? What if Madoka was a guy and Homura was a girl but still had the same convictions to save Madoka? It’s not the gender that makes the show quality. It’s the concepts and actions. It would still be as great as ever if it were a hetero, lesbian, or gay subtext centered series. The concepts quality is not determined by gender. Except for the fans who are utter haters of the opposite sex or something simply because of gender bias. But those people need to be hung from the neck down. They hardly ever have REAL legitimate reasons for their hate. Let’s say they mention that they’ve been raped. Most who I know who are haters of the opposite sex told me something like that. Can you guess how many were lying to me? 85% were. And 60% of the ones who were lying to me, were actually raped by women. And in their moments of weakness and broken spirit, were brainwashed by these women. But aside from theories, I still hate the majority of Yuri fans I’ve talked to over the years. But I have plenty of Yuri series I’ve watched and liked. Still working on remembering EVERY one I watch to make a list out of. Same for the Yaoi series. But remember kids. A perfect and better by nature relationship is the FANTASY of Yuri. Not the reality. For all we know they may end up breaking up later after the series end (Unless it goes into their elder life) and getting with different girls (Or sometimes men) So don’t bitch at me about how perfect Yuri is. Cause it ain’t. A good pizza and a beer is perfect. This? Not so much.

Look at her. She got a taste of the Yuri. Now does she look HAPPY or perfect to you?

Yaoi: Similar issues. Now fuck off and read the next.

Ecchi Harem: Super large abundance. And the fans I know are mostly just as bad as the Yaoi and Yuri ones. Bar a few. But most of em are complete and utter tools. You give em a dakimakura of a moe harem anime chick and they’ll shit their pants and stomp on Dragon Ball Z or Rurouni Kenshin for not being a super moe harem anime. Fucking losers. The fans I know are basically as retarded as it looks in the pic. All girls school one boy? -_-

Boom Headshot: Fuck you. Seriously. I can’t begin to fucking tell you how many fucking little pissing shits run up to me and scream “BOOM! HEADSHOT!!!” after slapping me in the back of the head when I’m sitting on a bench enjoying a nice hot coffee. One time in high school I had a hot coffee with me and actually pantsed another student for doing that right down to his little wang-a-lang-ding-a-long, and scorched his nutsack and 2 inch erect cock with that god damn coffee. Fuck you and you other “First-Person-Shooter” faggly little munchkins.


Last one before I end it for the day and come up with a new list later on.

Still a better love story than Twilight: I KNOW THAT ALREADY. STOP FUCKING TALKING TO ME ABOUT TWILIGHT. I NEVER FUCKING WATCHED IT PAST HALF THE FIRST MOVIE. SO STFU AND STOP SAYING THAT TO ME. Unless you’re a close friend or some shit. But I’ll be the decider of that. Now fuck off with Twilight. I don’t want to hear about it anymore. Jacob is shirtless and Edward is impotent for all but like the third movie. I don’t give a shit.


 

Yuri, Yaoi, and dem goddamn Heteros

This is my gripe with all three of the most used orientations in anime and manga. And even some hentai.

First off let’s get into the one I have the most issues with.


Yuri: First off, this genre ain’t bad. A lot of the ones I see have some average plots. And by average I mean okay enough to keep me interested and watch it more than once. It’s the fucking lil bitch fans I have a problem with. Almost every fan I talk to always can’t stop talking about it and the moment I bring up anything that has a male character (Especially a main character) they go all man hater and rant about shit like how impure all men are and how “DICK+BALLS=SATAN!!!” and how “DA VAJAJAY IS GOD/GODDESS!!!”. The problem with me is they try and BS me like they’re decent and pleasant people to be around and then they choose to slander me based on gender by stating things like “The balls are the source of all evil and anything with testicles should die”. And even on forums it’s a fucking disaster. Just about every forum I got that has a Yuri fan posting to it shows how creepy they can be. They always make Yuri related posts and never make simple posts that don’t have some kind of implication to it.

Let’s say I got to a forum. Let’s say it’s got a poll on what gender you would like an OC to be in a fanfic and where “IT” should come from. Let’s say there’s a fair amount of people saying male and female. Then when the results come in it’s chosen as female. All fine and good and more power to them. Then a user posts a pic of a character from said series that the fic is based on. This pic has her looking pissed. Probably because she couldn’t win and have her place of origin chosen. But along comes the typical Yuri fanatic I usually meet or even a lighter version of it, who comes and says something like the character is pissed because some other character (Who comes from the chosen nation) is being stolen from her. AND YET BOTH THOSE CHARACTERS HATE EACH OTHERS GUTS. And not in friendly way. A funny way, yes. But not friendly. Some Yuri fans make sense. But the ones I talk to most of the time don’t.

And lastly, these fans (Along with the Yaoi bitches I’ve talked to) always say that the main problem they have with generic anime today like ecchi, harems, and other things like that are all boring now and they’ve seen it all. This would be fine if not for two problems: They all say that Yuri/Yaoi is never boring and can never be seen enough no matter what. And secondly that anything with a male who isn’t totally evil or being treated like dog shit with an actual romantic interest that’s female (Harem or not, and ecchi or not) always is something they’ve seen before. Even if the man is a guy who spends half the series shitting rainbows and doing drugs. If male oriented series can get tired from seeing enough of em then EVERYTHING. IS. THE. FUCKING. SAME. Yuri is gonna get tiring. And why? Because you don’t respect it enough. If you don’t want it to get tiring and to love it forever then watch it sparingly. Cover up your desire for anime and manga with other things. If Yuri is your favorite, then save it as a special treat. Watch Yaoi and just about everything else. When you finally start to watch Yuri again then it becomes an even more amazing feeling. Like spending some time away from your lover that you love so much and then coming back together (Without dating anyone else of course). This is the approach I take to my favorite genre and series. Mecha and Dragon Ball Z. I don’t watch them all the time now. But they are my favorite. And I love em even more when I finally get that dose. Like I just took an LSD shot of pure rainbow and sunshine.

As far as the genre goes I’ve seen a few. I’ll list them later in a list. Now fuck off and read the other two in this fucking list.


Now let’s get into the thing I have the least amount of trouble with. Yaoi.


I don’t hate this genre either. And I hate most of the fans I meet. But I just happen to know a shit ton more Yuri fanatics than I do Yaoi fanatics. Although they’re just as bad in their own fucking ways. The female ones I know like it because they’re attracted to men. Fine and dandy. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT!!! Lil bitches… I get you think it’s hot. That doesn’t change the fact that that’s the ONLY fucking reason you like it and I don’t need to know that cause I’m never going to, nor should I, like it for the same reason. Now for the male fans I know (Mostly the gay male fans), it’s the same shit with the Yuri fans. Except that the Yuri fans I know who have that hatred of the peepee attitude are equally distributed amongst idiotic women whether they be fucking lesbos or not and whether they be retarded men (Whether they be gender confused or not or raised by lesbians who make him whip himself for being male *cough*. TJ *cough*.)

As for the genre I’ve only seen a few and didn’t find any that I hated. I’ll list the ones I’ve seen later. So halt your fucking horses and wait for it. Bitches.


Now for the final thing that really grinds my fucking balls. Fans who are fans of shit like Ecchi, Harem, and whatnot. My main issue is that these fucking bitches (Mostly male fans) that I happen to know or talk to ALWAYS watch this shit for one reason. TO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF THEIR GODDMAN MEAT TO IT. It’s all they want to see in a fucking anime. The reason they hate Dragon Ball Z? No moe, ecchi, or harems involved in it (Unless you count that whore Erasa as a second love interest for Gohan but that was short lived). Not too many people who’re straight can beat their dicks to goku’s meat grinding abs or his awesome hair. They male hit puberty when watching it. But they still hate it and call it stupid because it doesn’t have all the fuckign clevage shots and panty shots of things like High School Dxd (Funny. But not what I would call as good a story as Dragon Ball Z. Which isn’t saying much considering Z has a simple plot) or the kinds of shows like Ikki Tousen or Senran Kagura (Game first. Show second).

The next time I see someone hate on Dragon Ball Z (Or any equally awesome show) and yet have a Myanimelist list filled with harems, ecchi, and hentai cluttering it, I’m gonna dress up as Batman and go out into public and buy every copy of any harem, ecchi, or hentai from any source (Whether I get credit card debt or not) and take a bat and shatter them into pieces in public. Then I’ll shave my balls in public and drop all the pubic hair onto it. Then burn it. Then put it out with my own piss.

Now I know that’s a pretty epically axe crazy thing to do. But I hate those fans enough to do that. I would pretty much do the same to any Yuri fan as punishment. But I don’t here as many of them hate on my favorite series just because it isn’t Yuri. They probably hate it for that reason. But I don’t HEAR them say it. And I have more issue with them because of more reasons for me to dislike the,. I pretty much only have one reason to hate the people who are harem, ecchi, and hentai nutjobs. AND IT’S A PRETTY SERIOUS REASON IN MY FUCKING BOOK.


But if there’s one thing I hate that all three sets of fans do that I can’t stand is the way they ask for more of what they love. They always have to bash something else when stating how little there is of what they love and how they want more. To me all I see is a bunch of dumbass cunt licking, coochie sucking, cunt fucking, cock sucking, cock fighting whores (Man or woman). All the time, all I can see is their moronic faces.


 

Now that that’s done, let’s all calm the fuck down and take a break from bitching like bitches and following the way of the douche. Cause remember people. The whole purpose of this blog is to enlighten each other on the ways of the douche. If all those fans I talked to stopped acting like a bunch of self entitled pricks and bashed all that stuff with only having the intention of being rude and mean to others, then I’d have no probelm. They’d be a part of my fucking club with that. Cause they do a fantastic job at being a bunch of pissy wissy bastards and bitches.

Now. Let’s watch something we all moronically love and pander to no matter what. Even me. Unless you’re a sterotypical butch Lesbo. Then fuck off and don’t watch the video. But if you’re a real life Butch then be my guest. Join the pandering club. We’re all a part of it.